Resilience: Mastering the Art of Bouncing Back
Ever wondered why some people seem to bounce back from setbacks more quickly than others? It's like things tend to happen to them, and they manage to shake it off and carry on, while others find it challenging to move past it. The secret might be emotional resilience. In a nutshell, resilience is gaining a lot of attention right now. It is the ability to pivot and adapt without avoiding the issue or burying your head in the sand. It's about accepting the situation and moving on with a sense of clarity, knowing that you can handle it. Don't worry if this isn't you; resilience is like any other skill—it can be learnt and strengthened over time. So, let's dive in and explore the science behind it to learn practical strategies to bounce back quicker.
What is Emotional Resilience?
In a very simple nutshell, resilience is how we bounce back from tough times, even the smaller ones like spilled milk:
An article by Herrman et al. (2011) looked at different definitions of resilience in research from 2006 to 2010. The meaning of resilience has changed over time. But now, it's mostly about being able to adapt to stressful situations and crises. It's not about avoiding stress but thriving despite it, which is a benefit to all of us. However, it doesn’t always come easily. The good news is resilience is like a muscle or any other skill. With practice and patience, you can develop and strengthen this skill over time.
Resilience is a holistic concept; many factors affect how we bounce back, including our biology (thanks, Mum and Dad), our environment, and any past traumas or challenges (or lack thereof) we may have had (Herrman et al., 2011).
Key Points about Resilience:
Adaptability: How we adjust to new situations (Masten, 2001).
Optimism: Keeping a positive outlook even when times are tough (Seligman, 1998).
Self-Regulation: Understanding and balancing those pesky emotions that we all have (Baumeister & Vohs, 2004).
Mindfulness and Emotional Resilience
Mindfulness is a big buzzword right now, and for good reason. Mindfulness practices can really boost our emotional resilience, and there is so much evidence out there to support it (let me be clear, mindfulness is not a “fix-all” process, but it can be a really helpful practice. By doing some brain training and teaching our mind to step back, zoom out and focus, we can find calm and be in a better position to handle life's hurdles.
Jon Kabat-Zinn, who created the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) programme, has done a lot of work in this area (Kabat-Zinn, 1990) and has had some incredible success. Basically, mindfulness helps train your mind to stay calm and focused, which improves your ability to handle stress better because you can zoom out and identify solutions or accept where you are and know it won't last forever. By lowering cortisol (the stress hormone) and harnessing that focus helps build a sharper mind and helps us all be just a bit stronger (Kabat-Zinn, 1990)
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:
Mindfulness is great on its own, but when you add a solid dose of self-compassion, it gets even better. According to Kristin Neff’s research (2003), self-compassion is a key part of mindfulness and is linked to greater emotional resilience and well-being. And it’s not just fluff—self-compassion makes you stronger and bolder and helps you do what’s necessary to feel your best.
In her book Fierce Self-Compassion (Neff, 2021), Neff explains the difference between tender and fierce self-compassion. Tender self-compassion is that loving, gentle voice you offer yourself in hard times. Fierce self-compassion, on the other hand, is about taking tough actions for your well-being—doing the hard thing but with compassion as your guide.
Alrighty, I know this sounds good, but how do we do it?
Mindful Breathing:
How: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your breath. Inhale deeply, hold and exhale slowly.
Why: This practice helps ground you in the present moment and reduces stress.
Positive Self-Talk:
How: Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations like "I can handle this" or "This too shall pass."
Why: Positive self-talk can boost your confidence and resilience.
Physical Activity:
How: Engage in regular exercise, such as walking, yoga, or any activity you enjoy.
Why: Physical activity releases endorphins, improving mood and reducing stress.
Social Support:
How: Connect with friends, family, or support groups.
Why: A strong support network can provide comfort and encouragement during tough times.
Building emotional resilience takes time and practice, but the benefits are well worth the effort. By incorporating mindfulness and self-compassion into your daily routine, you can develop the strength to navigate life's challenges more easily. Ready to start building your emotional resilience? Join our Tuesday Morning Mindfulness Class to learn practical techniques and connect with a supportive community.
References
Baumeister, R. F., & Vohs, K. D. (2004). Handbook of Self-Regulation: Research, Theory, and Applications. New York: Guilford Press.
Herrman, H., Stewart, D. E., Diaz-Granados, N., Berger, E. L., Jackson, B., & Yuen, T. (2011). What is Resilience? Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 56(5), 258–265. https://doi.org/10.1177/070674371105600504
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. New York: Delacorte Press.
Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227–238. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227
Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101. https://doi.org/10.1080/15298860309032
Neff, K. D. (2021). Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. New York: Harper Wave.
Seligman, M. E. P. (1998). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. New York: Pocket Books.
